Cryptocurrency News 2/14/2018 – Special Valentine’s Edition

Editor’s note: The following column is written as intentional satire and may or may not have deliberate or undeliberate errors.

Good evening friends and welcome to the official hard fork of the cryptocurrency newsletter! You may notice some core differences from previous newsletters such as improved grammar, a degree of structure and a new home.

Anyone who held a ZitronCoin wallet last night while we passed block 42,069 will have received ZitronCash and access to this newsletter, which I assume you will continue to pay the $400,000 a month subscription for.

The coins are back in town

That’s right, baby, the coins have officially returned to their rightful place, and now the leader of the pack is the one and only Litecoin, selling for $210.58 as I type this. It’s mere days before the totally legitimate LitecoinCash fork happens, where they simply want your public keys and nothing else.

The funniest thing to come out of this is the following two…

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